if there is a reason

I had a strange dream last night. I dreamt of a glass. It's the glass that I hold my toothbrush. I wanted to brush my teeth but how strange, the glass is full of water. So I poured away the water and I washed the glass then brushed my teeth as usual.

What a weird dream, yet I remember it so vividly. I wanted to figure it out, why is the glass full of water. I scribble it down and I start to relate... it's just like life, when they say everything happens for a reason. Some reasons explain all, some reveal the truth but you'll never know, some you find out but you never understand, some don't even exist when you think they do.

Life is absurd, it's not moving in the way I thought it should be anymore - family, dreams, love. Perhaps, It's a phrase that everyone goes through. There were times when I wish to stop my brain's cognitive function because there were many things I can't explain; some people explain to me, some don't and some lie to cover themselves. I'm too exhausted searching for an answer, so I tried to understand them without knowing the reasons, maybe that's just the way it should be.

And I find myself unable to strike a balance, I was lost. There were times when I stop telling people what I think because I was afraid to be judged, I was afraid being misunderstood, I was afraid to hurt them. I find words manipulative, communication no longer makes us understand each other but sending the wrong signal. I find myself contradict my actions with desires, giving myself reasons and more reasons.

Now I'm enlightened, no more protective shells, let it be a natural reaction. Perhaps I'm just back to who I was in the beginning when the world is less complicated to me. When I was a child, I smile when I'm happy, I laughed when I'm amused, I cry when I'm sad, I'm angry when I get annoyed. I enjoy love and to be loved. I have a dream.

Those beauty pageant contestant touting "World peace", no matter how many times it has been repeated, even it makes them sound bimbo-tic at times, I can relate to this word. I wish for a world where is there is no war, no sadness, no want, no adversity, where people don't hold grudges against each other, where there is no hurtful argument, where we make the effort.... where we love each other..